Finally my bonsai tree has a new home..

From a beer mug to a proper home! And some proper soil :) This spontaneous buy came after i watched this documentary called "HOME", which is basically about Earth, how we are killing it slowly by pollution, cutting down trees etc. And the first thing that i thought of then was my bonsai tree, she deserves something better then a beer mug ^^

Have to say that this day has been awesome so far, free from work! And then i skyped with Stefan (That lives in Australia now) got to see his kid, house etc. Missing the good times we had together :I But we will try to reunite one day!

Hopefully within a year :) AI TO PEDA!

It just hit me

Why be awesome in a video-game when you can be awesome in real life? I can see more clearly now that i didn't feel very good this year.. Why the hell did i buy computer specially for video games?! Guess i just wanted to kill time. the funny thing is that i don't even like playing video games anymore??

Well now i don't really feel like killing time anymore, It's time to "carpe diem", ain't really gonna do that while playing battlefield hehe.

It's like i've forgotten who i am. Slowly getting back there tho..

everlasting race

Work, hoard materials, buy buy buy, temporarily happiness , weekend, drink, forget, Sunday feel shit, back to Monday. Everlasting race. When does it stop?

Remember sitting on the beach in Fiji, and saw this funny looking boat, apparently two German backpackers build it themselves! And they just been cruising around these paradise islands. Talk about leaving their "comfort zone" hardcore.

Soon...

Things are looking brighter.

Not talking about the weather tho, bloody hell i feel like i'm living in a vampire country, constant darkness. But thanks to my lovely Audio Engine speakers and my new Buddha m8 i got from grandma, i actually feel okey and not like constant, "ooh i don't dont know what life is about" state which i posted in my previous post.

Blasting out kind of cheesy music which i haven't listened for a while. I mean who can be sad when you listen to Happy hardcore, or Frank Sinatra - New York?

Tho it's going to take a long while until i'm fully recovered. But ill manage. And when i'm on the top of the mountain, ill be stronger then before.

confused state of mind

Wish everything was crystal clear like before. But it's not. Im questioning everything right now. Am i afraid of love? Do i push people away? What's the meaning with life? Will i ever be truly happy?

It's all so confusing right now...